When I give blood I always make sure I’m wearing a t-shirt

By Nicola Hayward

Here we are hurtling towards Autumn (where did THAT summer go……mostly in a blur of alcohol admittedly, but is that just me??!!)

Not surprisingly for those of you in the know, we’re speeding along into this year’s flu campaign, where the crinkly and infirm come along in their droves to get their free vaccination.  It’s a life saver I’ll admit, but what a palava getting the clinics organised.

For time management and to ease ‘traffic’ in the surgery, we undertake Saturday morning sessions in October – herd the patients in like cattle, one minute appointments, two nurses jabbing and putting the data onto the computer (so we get paid, obviously!!) and patients love it……it’s a social event! After they have their jab, they’re supposed to wait in the surgery for 10 minutes just in case they go into anaphylactic shock, but it just gives them a chance to have a gossip and catch up.

The beauty of doing the clinic on a Saturday means we ONLY do flu jabs….no prescriptions, no appointments, nothing…..just flu……we can get through 700 people in a day (if we’re lucky) and it means that by the end of October, 90% of our ‘vulnerable’ patients are vaccinated and safe for another year.   The other bonus is I can put my claims in to get paid and we’ll be reimbursed before I have to pay the bill for the vaccines!

The downside is that we have 700 people traipsing their way through the surgery, all wrapped up to the nines wearing 5 different layers of clothing because the weather’s on the turn (or in our case, it turned, frosted up, possibly snowed and generally got much much worse!)

Now, call me weird but when I go to give blood (don’t say it…..”a pint…….that’s nearly an armful…..!!!” – actually that’s only possibly funny to those of us old enough to remember the great Tony Hancock,…but I digress……….)……where was I?….oh yes,…when I give blood I always make sure I’m wearing a t-shirt, or a short sleeved blouse/shirt, something that makes my vein easy to get to – and doesn’t involve stripping off in front of strangers!   Some older patients, who do admittedly feel the cold, will be wearing a coat, a cardigan or jacket, a long sleeved shirt or blouse, and a thermal vest (with sleeves) and so by the time they have tottered to the treatment room, we’ve another 10 minutes to wait while we get access to their arm.   I’m thinking of inventing some sort of rack of injection syringes, horizontally tied together so that the nurse could potentially vaccinate 5 patients in one hit.  It’ll never work, but I can waste hours trying it out!

In amongst all the flu stuff, is this year’s shingles campaign where, can you believe it, they’ve only gone and added another age group to the criteria….whoop-di-doo!!  We can now vaccinate those patients who are 70, 78 and 79……….woe betide anyone who sticks a shingles vaccine in a patient who isn’t eligible though!!   I have little date of birth entitlements affixed to each PC in reception so the girls can check before they book a patient in.  If we vaccinate someone out of the age criteria, we won’t get paid, simples.

Then we mustn’t forget the pneumonia vaccine – that’s still going, and remember also that pregnant ladies (well, obviously ladies!!) can have a flu jab and a whooping cough jab too….oh and remember the kids, because they can have a jab or a nasal vaccine depending on age…………so much to remember……so little time left to care……..

Actually that’s not true……I DO care………but is it too mercenary to admit that it’s mostly because the flu campaign is for us, our biggest money maker??  We do need to remember that we are in fact, a business,……..it’s not just about saving lives, it’s about making money and that really is my bottom line.

Joe Public, in my experience, is often not aware that we’re not just handed the money from the DoH to do as we see fit – we actually have to balance the books – and that is getting harder and harder to do. We still have to pay for our building – the mortgage, the utilities, to say nothing of wages and doctors’ drawings……….Not only that, but we’ve targets to meet, deadlines to fill –  and the cost of actually doing that work often means that output definitely doesn’t cover input –  oh and yes, unbelievably, we still have to see people and make them better, if we can………..

Honestly, you’d think I was running a service for sick people…………what a liberty!!!